Tasren: PROMISE & SIN

The Twenty-First Greater Sin: Non fulfilment of a Promise

promise [N] คำสัญญา, See also: คำมั่นสัญญา, คำปฏิญาณ, Syn. assurance, avowal, agreement, warrant

The twenty-first of the Greater sins is ‘Breaking of a promise.’ There are authentic traditions to this effect from Abdul Azīm where he quotes that Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) has proved it to be a Greater sin with the help of the following verse of Holy Qur’an:

“And those who break the covenant of Allah after its confirmation and cut asunder that which Allah has ordered to be joined and make mischief in the land; (as for) those, upon them shall be curse and they shall have the evil (issue) of the abode.”

(Surah Ra’d 13:25)

The Holy Qur’an denounces the breaking of promise in the following ayat too:

“Yea, whoever fulfills his promise and guards (against evil) - then surely Allah loves those who guard (against evil).

(As for) those who take a small price for the covenant of Allah and their own oaths - surely they shall have no portion in the hereafter, and Allah will not speak to them, nor will He look upon them on the Day of Resurrection nor will He purify them, and they shall have a painful chastisement.”

(Surah Ali-‘Imrān 3:76-77)

 

Amir ul-Mu’minīn ‘Ali (a.s.) advises Malik al-Ashtar regarding the honouring of promises:

“Breaking a promise causes the anger of Allah.”

(Nahjul Balagha)

‘Ali (a.s.) also quotes the same verse after this.

Hazrat Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (a.s.) said:

“There are four types of sinners who are punished very soon:

a) The person who violates the pact that he has made with you, even though you have respected it.

b) One who inflicts harm upon you even though you caused him no harm.

c) One who has promised you something and you are faithful upon your agreement but he is unfaithful.

d) One who wants to severe relations even though the relative wishes to continue the relationship.”

(Khisāl)

Breaking of promise and hypocrisy

Breaking of a promise is a very serious sin. It is a sin that sows the seed of hypocrisy in the heart of the person who commits it. The person dies in a state of disbelief and is raised with the hypocrites on the Day of Judgment.

Hypocrites do not keep their words

It follows from this tradition, that a person who is unjust, a liar and one who does not keep his word, does not possess morals. He is not a just person (Ādil) but a transgressor (Fasiq) and it is not Wajib to fulfill the rights of brotherhood towards him.

Mutual covenants and agreements

The third type of promise is when people form actual covenants and agreements. The ayats and the traditions state that it is Wajib to fulfill this type of promise and it is Harām to go against them.

For example in Surah al-‘Isrā’:

“...and fulfill the promise; Surely (every) promise shall be questioned about.”

(Surah al-‘Isrā’, 17:34)

Similarly the Qur’an describes truthful and the pious people thus,

“...and those who fulfill their promise when they make a promise..”

(Surah al-Baqarah 2:177)

Also when describing those who shall be saved from Hell and earn Paradise, Allah (S.w.T.) says,

“And those who are keepers of their trusts and their covenant.”

(Surah Al-Mum’inūn, 23:8)

Imam Ja’far as-Sadiq (a.s.) says,

“To keep your word to your believing brother is Wajib like a vow, even though there is no expiation for going against it.”

The Holy Prophet (S) said:

“One who has belief in Allah and in last day (Qiyāma) must keep his word when he promises.”

(Usūl al-Kāfi)

Thus keeping a promise is a fulfillment for the belief in Allah (S.w.T.) and the Day of Qiyāma. Similarly, the beginning verses of Surah as-Saff have also denounced the breaking of promise and clearly prove that non-fulfillment of a promise (of every type) is Harām.

Tasren: Raji..my real good friend

 

The picture which Raji gave  me the day we had coffee in my house before he went back to Nigeria

 

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never ever the same” (Unknown).

I am very fortunate that I have a real good friend. His name is Raji. We have been studying and did the research together in the same university for one year. While I was doing my Ph.D. in the second year ,Raji came to do his post- doctoral for 1 year. He was the lecturer in Nigeria. I knew very little about him from my supervisor before he came cos he will bring the crude oil contaminated soil from Nigeria to our research lab.

 

Franklinwilkin building the building we did research

 

In October 2002, Prof. Jeremy (my supervisor) came in the studying room with the guy who I felt surprised at the first sight.. “Hey Stranger,” was the first thing I said to myself. Prof. Jeremy let us  introduced each other and what I remembered very well was he gave me his hand and I felt uncomfortable in that moment to handshake..but I did . The next day I knew from Prof. Jeremy that we have to be the partner in molecular research.

Since I was better in molecular biology and he was better in microbiology, we always help and support each other if we got confused. We have to talk, consult, planning for the lab etc everyday. I observed and learnt Raji’s habit day by day. He always tries to learn from others. He is always helpful to others in their time of need and never feels them to be obliged

I never been abroad alone and leaded life among the people from different cultures. He helped me get through some of the difficult times I’ve ever gone through in my life. He encouraged and helped me from time to time. He has a very warm personality very polite, good mannered. I have never seen him losing his temper. His virtue of patience and compassion for all was indeed amazing. Furthermore, Honesty is his good manner he never lie and never promise the thing that he can not do.

The thing I have learnt and realized from Raji was “each and every person that comes into your life comes into your life for a special reason”.

After he finished his post-doctoral in  November 2002. We stay in touch. The last time I had got mail from him he told me  that he moved his family from Nigeria to UK for good.

Sometime I and Jnin (my husband) ..we got into talking about all of what’s written above. It’s a feeling I’m sincerely grateful for to be able to have good friend in life.

 

TASREN: He ..who lost true friend

“Nazir”

His habit is quite different from Yiching. This make me very impress about their friendship. Besides his simplicity, Nazir was also a great perfectionist in his personal choices, not only at work. He is self-centered, self-contradictory, hyper-sensitivity, competitive, secretiveness ect.

His mood swings all the time, one minute, he's happy and talking to me or Yiching  just fine. The next minute, he can tells us to get out of his life and that he's not our friend.( This is one reason to end up their friendship lately). Anyway Nazir is very very intelligent in science with science he is the powerful  researcher.

 

To me a friend is a person who accepts you for who you are and not because what you have, a person who corrects you when you are wrong and shares with you your good moments, as well the bad ones. That's what I think a friendship means.

The vast majority of what people call friends are just good acquaintences. True friends are rare and far between, but once found are there for life.

 

I would like to say this to both of them (esp: yiching)

if you love something,
let it go.
if it comes back,
its yours,
if it doesn’t,
it never was.

But make sure that it’s not too late for “Nazir”

 

 

HOPE ! This can be applied to everyone who just lost the good friends.

 

 

TASREN: "good friend"

Friendships are precious...

 Kalyanamittata : having a "good friend" (a person or social environment that is helpful to one's life development)

Friends is important cos they have a great influence on our advancement and regression in life. Finding a true friend, who stays around forever, is something that life offers to very few.

Some people are blessed to have friends, who stick to each other through the thick and thin of their lives and never ever break the relation, even with geographical distance or time.

Long lasting friendship does not happen in a day. It takes years to develop understanding and higher levels of trust, if you want to boast of having old friends. It needs equal efforts from both sides to make the relation work

False friends & True friends

Good friends can be differentiated from the rest by certain characteristics.

Listed here are the teachings on those who should be associated with and those who should not, and the principles through which friends should relate to each other:

A. False friends: one should know the four kinds of false friends, or enemies in the guise of friends (mitta-patirupaka), as follows:

1. The out-and-out robber, one who only takes from his friend (harajana), has four main features:

1.   He thinks only of getting.

2.   He gives little in the hope of getting much.

3.   Only when he is in danger does he help his friend.

4.   He is a friend only for his own profit.

2. The smooth talker (vaciparama) has four main features:

5.   He is only good at talking about that which is done and gone.

6.   He is only good at talking about that which has not yet come.

7.   He offers help that is ineffectual.

8.   When his friend needs help, he makes excuses.

3. The flatterer (anupiyabhani) has four main features:

9.   He consents to [his friend's] doing wrong.

10.               He consents to his doing right.

11.               He sings his praises to his face.

12.               He runs him down behind his back.

4. The leader to ruin (apayasahaya) has four main features:

13.               He is a companion in drinking.

14.               He is a companion in night life.

15.               He is a companion in frequenting shows and fairs.

16.               He is a companion in gambling.

B. True friends: one should know the four kinds of true friends, or friends at heart (suhada-mitta), as follows:

1. The helping friend (upakaraka) has four main features:

17.               When his friend is off guard, he guards him.

18.               When his friend is off guard, he guards his property.

19.               In times of danger, he can be a refuge.

20.               In times of need, he gives more than asked for.

2. The friend through thick and thin (samanasukhadukkha) has four main features:

21.               He confides in his friend.

22.               He keeps his friend's secrets.

23.               He does not desert his friend in times of danger.

24.               He will give even his life for his friend's sake.

3. The good counselor (atthakkhayi) has four main features:

25.               He restrains his friend from doing evil or harm.

26.               He encourages his friend in goodness.

27.               He makes known to his friend what he has not heard before.

28.               He points out the way to prosperity and happiness.

4. The loving friend (anukampi) has four main features:

29.               When his friend is unhappy, he commiserates.

30.               When his friend is happy, he is happy for him.

31.               When others criticize his friend, he comes to his defense.

32.               When others praise his friend, he joins in their praise.

(D.III.185)

C. Reciprocal friendship: friends should support each other according to the practices in the teachings on the "left direction" listed below:

One should treat friends as follows:

33.               Share with them.

34.               Speak kindly to them.

35.               Help them.

36.               Be constant through their ups and downs.

37.               Be faithful and sincere.

Friends reciprocate as follows:

38.               When their friend is off guard, they protect him.

39.               When their friend is off guard, they protect his property.

40.               In times of danger, they can be a refuge.

41.               They do not desert their friend in times of need.

42.               They respect their friend's family and relations

Friends are hard to find and good friends, harder still. If you have a truly good friend, you are one of the lucky few because good friends aren't that easy to find these days, so count your blessings and keep your good friend! They are truly invaluable and irreplaceable.

Reference: Phra Phromkhunāphǭn (Prayut Payuttō),  A CONSTITUTION FOR LIVING  http://www.watnyanaves.net/th/book_detail/492